


Stubborn

by roseybuddy



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst?, Confessions, It gets better I promise, M/M, Sappy, This is kinda trash, almost dead, half proposal?, i am nOT good at writing aha, key word almost, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24191653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseybuddy/pseuds/roseybuddy
Summary: He didn’t want to die without being honest with the person who meant the most to him.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	1. Cold

**Author's Note:**

> so, it’s been a while.
> 
> ahaha.
> 
> ‘m sorry y’all :( high school was rough, but i’m back to writing!! 
> 
> recently i got into hunter x hunter so i thought i’d write something! hope y’all like it :)

It’s cold outside. 

No, cold’s not very accurate. 

Its freezing. 

While it was a beautiful sight, it felt awful outside. Snowflakes that’d dance in the wind and softly lay on branches felt like hell when they touched skin. From indoors, the winds look so sturdy, and the sounds of them could lull a child to sleep, but outside? It freezes the body still. 

One step outside and a normal person would go back inside. It’d take a very stubborn person to take one step outside and decide to challenge nature for the sake of their dignity.

Unfortunately, Kurapika is more than stubborn. 

Sometimes, admittedly, he was more stubborn than smart... which is why he laid in scarlet colored snow, struggling to type out a certain doctor’s phone number.

A number of bad decisions were made on his part, clearly.

“Hello?” Ah, he answered. Hearing his voice alone helped warm Kurapika’s face. Even when near death, he smiled at the sound of his voice. 

“Leorio, are you busy?” 

“Kurapika?! Of course not, are you okay?” The blonde felt awful, maybe if he’d called more often it wouldn’t have been obvious he wasn’t okay. That was another bad decision he’d made, but it’s okay.

He won’t make another one.

“I, I’m really sorry.” 

He didn’t want to die without being honest with the person who meant the most to him. 

“Kurapika, what-“ 

“Just, listen. Please.” He didn’t want Leorio to stress over finding him, which will inevitably happen no matter what he did, so he’d at least like to prolong it as long as possible. “I really appreciate you, and I’ve never shown it well at all. You’re,” His body shuddered as the wind picked up it’s pace. “You’re very precious to me.” 

“Where are you right now?”

“You’ve done so much for me. I, never really felt like I had a purpose outside of revenge, but through you, I don’t know. I think you helped me see more to life.” 

“Kurapika.”

“We had our differences. Well, that might be an understatement. We did argue a lot. We’d fight over everything under the sun, and some arguments would last much longer than needed.” 

“Where are you?”

“ But, that was just a front. I teased you a lot because you confused me. You treated me like another person, which, I didn’t take well at all. “

“Please, just tell me where you are.”

“I thought you were mocking me, or pitying me when you showed me you cared. I thought you meant harm whenever you offered me anything. I thought you had so many ulterior motives by talking to me about normal things. “

“I’ll ask you again before assuming the worse.”

“I was so stubborn.”

“Where are you?” His voice sounded so cold. 

But Kurapika was too stubborn to stop. 

“And you didn’t leave me.” 

“That’s it, I’m coming to find you.” 

“You didn’t get tired of me.”

Kurapika could hear Leorio rushing to grab his things. He was really coming, just like him. 

Kurapika sighed. He won’t make it in time though. 

“You were so, patient. It felt like you were holding my hand through everything. You helped me understand people again. Through you, I felt things other than revenge. I saw more to life than my resolve.” 

He felt his eyes burn and his breath grow uneasy. 

“When I was with you, I could forget about the past.”

His tears began freely flowing.

“You, you gave me reason to live,and I, feel like I’ve nothing to show for it.”

He heard Leorio’s breathing grow heavier.

“I think, I’m in love with you. “

“Kurapika.” 

“Or something close to it, I‘m not sure.”

“Don’t hang up.”

“Maybe if I’d lived a little longer I would’ve found out.”

“Listen to me, please.” His voice is starting to hitch and waiver. 

“Either way, if I’d lived a little longer, I’d want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Please-“

It’s too late. 

Kurapika felt his body become warm. His head felt heavy, and his arm fell back to the ground, cushioned by snow.

“Goodbye, Leorio.”

He felt himself slipping away.

Well, at least he was honest.


	2. Serenity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. 

Well, physically yes. 

Emotionally? No. 

There’s no set of expected emotions or reactions when someone important to you nearly gets themselves killed.

If Leorio had to describe what it felt like, he wouldn’t be sure where to start. It’s like feeling everything at once. 

Of course he was happy Kurapika was alive, and he was ecstatic that he was able to find him. He’s relieved that he’d seemed to be recovering well, but that didn’t stop him from being pissed at the blonde’s stubbornness. He can’t help but be angry with Kurapika. On the phone, he seemed so comfortable with dying, so willing to give up on life. 

So willing to just, leave him. 

Of course, Leorio knew it wasn’t personal. It just felt, painful. 

Kurapika’s normal version of opening up was talking about what foods he liked. He’d open up by letting himself laugh at Leorio (even when he didn’t intend to be funny). While he was making progress, Kurapika was definitely a guarded person. Of course, Leorio wanted to see him truly open up, but he’d known it’d be years for that to happen, and he was more than willing to wait for him. 

Imagine how confused Leorio was when Kurapika called. 

Imagine how confused he was when someone so cautious voiced everything he felt. Someone so wary of showing emotions confessing everything they’ve ever felt towards him. Confessing that he loved him, just so he could die. He was able to show his vulnerability, only because he was close to death. 

He was willing to divulge his feelings, just to leave him in the end. 

It hurt. 

It hurt immensely. 

That was infuriating to Leorio. He felt his jaw clench, the more he thought about it, the insatiable rage that filled him would grow stronger. But when he looked at Kurapika, something would happen to him. The rage in his heart would die down instantly as he looked at the unconscious man. 

Kurapika looked so peaceful. 

For once, he looked calm. His usual aura of intensity wasn’t there, but was replaced by an air of serenity.

Even after brushing shoulders with death, Kurapika was comparable to Venus. His beauty acted as a remedy for Leorio’s anger. He just, couldn’t stay mad at him. He knew they’d have one hell of a conversation once Kurapika woke up, but until then he’d bask in the tranquility of the moment. 

————————

Kurapika was confused to say the least.

Just as there‘s no predictable reaction when someone important to you nearly gets themselves killed, there‘s no predictable reaction when waking up after believing you had died. 

His initial response was to try to get up, but his body felt extremely heavy, he’d need to wait a couple of minutes before being able to move. So, he tried opening his eyes to see if he’d really been alive, doing so caused a rude awakening. He was greeted by the pleasant glare of the evening sun, gently touching the walls and warming his arm, riddled with IVs. 

He was definitely alive. 

And, sitting down in front of him, was his beloved plagued with grief. 

_Fuck._

He looked so, tired. The life in his eyes was replaced with a medley of draining feelings. His face was dulled by what seemed to be multiple sleepless nights. Leorio had, _really_ , taken care of him. But, hidden deep in his eyes, Kurapika saw relief. The more he stared into Leorio’s eyes, the more comfort he felt. Leorio must’ve felt him staring and decided to look back.

The sun’s gleam hit his face, highlighting the serene glint in his eyes as a small smile painted itself on his mouth. His face was, calming. 

Even after working days on end, Leorio was entrancing. 

“You’re awake.” His voice was soft. 

Kurapika’s mind went blank. 

“I, I am.” Leorio’s smile grew wider.

“I’m glad.” A hand met Kurapika’s scalp, slowly brushing his hair behind his ear. His mind was still blank. He didn’t know where to start explaining everything to Leorio. He didn’t even know how to respond to him. He simply continued to stare into the doctors eyes. “You still look pretty tired, you probably need some more rest.” Kurapika frowned. 

“You don’t look too good yourself, you should sleep.” Leorio chuckled lightly. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” He leaned back into his chair and sighed, his eyes struggling to stay open. Kurapika felt awful. Leorio refused to sleep so he could watch over him day and night. He’d thrown his health away for his sake.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” 

“You haven’t been sleeping, right?” Leorio didn’t respond. “You’ve been looking over me a lot, right? I, plagued your mind. For that I’m, really sorry.” Leorio turned to him again, his smile vanished. 

“You’re apologizing for the wrong thing.” Oh?

“What do you mean?” 

“Do you think I was bothered by taking care of you?” The doctor turned his body towards Kurapika. “If so, I can assure you I wasn’t.” He brought his face dangerously close to the blonde’s. “I was bothered by how reckless you’ve become.” Ah, there it was. “ You seemed a little too comfortable with dying, that doesn’t sit well with me.” Kurapika lowered his eyes, briefly breaking eye contact with Leorio. 

“I, well,” He couldn’t think of anything to say. 

“Well?”

“It’s something I’m not afraid of anymore. It’s almost like, it’s followed me for a very long time and now, I’ve grown used to it’s lurking. It, no longer scares me.” As he said that, Kurapika felt a hand grab his face, gently bringing his gaze back to the drained brunette. He could see pain behind Leorio’s eyes, maybe he shouldn’t have said that. 

“Kurapika.”

“Yes?”

“You’re 20.” He is? “You missed your birthday because you were unconscious for so long. You missed your 20th birthday. And if you’d died, you wouldn’t have seen seen it at all.” 

His birthday really passed? Wasn’t it winter when he passed out? 

“Don’t you think it’s weird that you’re so comfortable with dying when you’ve just turned 20? You still don’t understand so many things about yourself, you haven’t truly lived yet. I don’t think you should be comfortable with dying yet.” Leorio’s thumb gently caressed his cheek, almost like he’d break Kurapika by doing so. He smiled again. “I don’t think I can let you walk around with that mentality. I don’t want to lose you. You’re, very precious to me.“ 

Suddenly, in vivid detail, Kurapika remembered the last conversation he had with the doctor. He remembered telling Leorio everything he’d felt, that he gave him a reason to live, that he was precious to him, that he loved him. His face began to burn the more he remembered. He tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. The doctor continued.

“Do you remember telling me that if you’d lived longer, you’d spend the rest of your life with me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you still feel that way?” 

Kurapika felt like he was being trapped. Of course he still felt that way, but something in his gut told him he’d be chained down for the rest of his life if he answered that correctly. 

“Yes, I do.” Oh well. 

“How would you actually feel if you spent the rest of your life with me?” 

“I’m not sure.” Being open seemed to be the best thing to do. “I know I’d be happy, but something tells me I’d have to change the way I live.” With little strength, Kurapika moved his hand to meet Leorio’s, gently holding it. “But, I feel like you’d help me with that.” He’d become comfortable with growing alongside Leorio. Suddenly, Leorio’s tone shifted. 

“Kurapika.”

“Yes, Leorio?”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I know.” 

“You won’t leave, right?”

“I won’t.” 

“No matter what happens, you won’t go, right?” 

“Right.”

“Promise me you won’t leave. Promise me that you won’t throw your life away, no matter the reason.” 

“I promise.” 

“You know that means you can’t fight as much, right?” 

It was a sacrifice with multiple risks, but he was willing to take it. 

“Right.” 

“Perfect.” Leorio brought Kurapika’s hand to his mouth and kissed it gingerly, warming his heart. 

He was happy to be alive. 

That didn’t distract him from how sleep deprived his partner was. He frowned again.

“Now please, get some sleep.” Kurapika ordered him.

“With pleasure. Can you roll over?” The blonde was able to roll onto his other side, and within seconds, he felt Leorio’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him close. He felt the warmth of the brunette’s body on his back, his heartbeat calmly marching against Kurapika’s spine. “Oh, Kurapika.” 

“Yes Leorio?” 

Leorio leaned in further and gently kissed Kurapika’s neck. 

“I love you too.” 

With that, Leorio fell asleep without worrying about the man in his arms. As for Kurapika, well,

Kurapika was very happy to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y’all liked it! i’m done with school now and have a lot of motivation to write again, (hopefully it’ll last this time) so i’ll keep writing little short stories!


End file.
